Wednesday, 3 January 2018

New Year New Start and where I have been

It has been well over a month since I published my last blog post, something that I never thought would happen on this blog, but it did. I have been blogging for 5 years this year which seems absolutely insane and slightly scary at the same time. I never once took a break as I enjoyed it so much and it gave me something to look forward to doing in my free time and felt like it gave me a purpose, but the last year things didn't quite go as planned.

The second half of 2017 I lost all motivation for blogging. I can't pinpoint what exactly it was but there were a mixture of factors, my mental health included but the saddest bit about it was I suddenly thought who cares? Who wants to read about what I'm doing, where I've been and what I'm reading. It all suddenly felt like a hell of a lot of effort and not much point in doing it. I even lost my reading mojo for months- again something I never thought would happen. My intention for blogging was never about monetary gain, although which blogger hasn't once thought about how nice that would be? It was always for myself and it got me excited and happy and actually gave me a lease of life. But that all just seemed to dissipate. 

Thinking back as I write this I think a lot of it had to do with me not being happy in myself and the things around me. I was dissatisfied with life and frustrated that things (such is life) had not worked out how I had wanted them to. Relationships were strained, I didn't feel like I was getting as much out of my job as I wanted, I was living somewhere that if I'm honest I hated and family members became ill. I had also fallen into the terrible trap that is compare and despair and Instagram was definitely my downfall in this. Although I love Instagram as a concept and love looking at people's amazing photos and videos, it also made me compare myself to those photos, whether it was looks or lifestyle or what achievements they had reached, it made me feel that my achievements paled in comparison. 

Apologies if this seems like a solemn post, but in a world of 'My Best Life' on Instagram and a nation where mental health problems are on the rise, I wanted to write an honest post about how life isn't always perfect and neither are the lives of those who portray that theirs is. I am not at all saying that we shouldn't share the good in our lives, but never think that you aren't good enough because of where someone else is in their life as you don't know what they have had to do to get there. Even those that have the 'perfect' life still compare themselves to others. 

I did write a post  explaining where my life took a downward turn, but never published it. Maybe this year I will get the courage to do so.

Just remember that comparing yourself to others doesn't do you any favours, if you find yourself starting to do it, try and take a step back and think about what's good in your life.

Wishing all of you a fab 2018 and I hope that whatever goals you have this year you achieve them.


  1. Don't feel like you should apologise for being absent or what you're writing about. This is YOUR blog about whatever you want to share with the world. 'Compare and despair' is a really unfortunate side effect of social media and it's so much easier to say to not do it than to actually do it (I know, I fall into that ALL the time too). But I hope that the break has at least helped somewhat and you'll feel the joy for blogging and social again. There are so many great things on your path in 2018, I just know it, and I can't wait for you to see it too. xx

    1. Zarina you are honestly one of the best friends I have, you always pick me up when I'm down and always see where I'm coming from. I think I just completely lost my way and what it was I wanted from life and I got utterly sucked in to the world of compare and despair. I know I'm always going to do it, but I am going to try and remind myself that it does me no favours. You are too lovely to say that but I am just hoping 2018 is a bit kinder to me this year xx

    2. Sorry to hear that you have feeling down and totally weary about life. Remember you were born an original and unique and there will always be good and bad times but you are strong and we'll loved by people who know you. I enjoy your blog and am a complete stranger. Take this year to be easy on yourself and always look up

    3. Thank you so much for your kind words- they mean so much. Thank you for taking the time to write them x

  2. one day at a time. Sending hugs and love xxx